Turning toward home

180 days into a 210 day deployment and I'm ready to start thinking seriously about coming home. This doesn't include all the day-dreaming about BBQs, beer, pancakes, and so on - conservatively that's taken up about 50% of my waking hours here.

In any case, sticking my toe back into the water means I have to pick one thing to write about and let it go. Very simple, very short.

So here it is: My expectations were totally out of line with the reality here in Sangin. Thinking back to pre-deployment training (which was this decade, right?) we focused on things like our agricultural training at Fresno State and using crazy technology to efficiently development and implement development projects.

And . . . we used pretty much none of this. I haven't talked much to the other teams so I don't know what they did in Now Zad, Musa Qaleh, and Marjah. Maybe things were less "kinetic" and they took advantage of their training.

Actually, it's not true to say I didn't use the training - it's more accurate to say I found it distracting rather than helpful. In the beginning I was more focused on Civil Affairs as it was described on paper: projects, money, or some combination of the two. I wanted to make use of what I had learned, even if it wasn't what anyone around me wanted. So there were several times during patrols (when you're looking for IED indicators) that I noted the type of irrigation they were using, or the number and condition of livestock in a compound.

An example - (Talking out loud) Okay, they have three cows, four goats, and . . . ten chickens. BOOM! Okay, they have two cows, four goats, and seven chickens. BOOM! Okay, they have one cow . . .

This didn't last long but it did illustrate how weak my critical thinking skills were at twenty-eight years old. Next time (hopefully there won't be a next time) I'll understand that my job is to LISTEN first and foremost - both to Marines and Afghans. I am, to the use the LT's favorite word, the interlocutor between all things civil and military. Nothing more, nothing less.

That's enough for now. I should be writing one of these every week or so for the next month then cranking out a more steady stream in hopes of making sense of what the hell I've been doing since August.